Good COPP vs Bad COPP

One of my favorite concepts taught by my friend and colleague Collin Henderson, MEd is the comparison of two acronyms by the same letters. They look the same, but they represent opposite Mindsets.

The first acronym is (the bad) COPP. And just like the figure in a jailhouse interrogation cell, the bad COPP is where the damage comes from. It represents our "inner critic" and it is where a lot of our negative sense of self comes from. This COPP is:

- Comparing - Our tendency to measure ourselves against other people. This is not usually comparison to those that are less fortunate which can lead to gratitude for the gifts we have, but more often those we perceive as better off. Envy is the result, and envy is not a good place to live.

- Opinions - Similar to Comparing, the perceived opinions of others is an external driver of self worth. It's that trap of "you are not who you are, you are not what others think you ares, you ARE what you THINK others THINK you are (to paraphrase Jay Shetty).

- Perfection - The refusal to give ourselves grace for making mistakes, taking time to learn, or being vulnerable and asking for help.

- Prize - Focusing on outcomes. In other words, focusing on the results instead of the journey that leads to whatever happens next. With this type of tunnel vision, we miss out on one of life's greatest gifts...EXPERIENCES. Newsflash, not all experiences are good, but most have real value. Be present. Don't fixate on the Prize.

So that is the Bad COPP. What about the Good COPP? The COPP that tries to build trust and to offer positive solutions? The mirror opposite to the Bad. Here is that "inner creative."

Care - There are three parts to Caring. 1. Self 2. Others 3. Craft. Give yourself attention. Give others your best. Give importance to what you are focused on (a sport, a job, a hobby). If you truly focus on self, on your teammates and on what you are doing, you have no time to compare.

Ownership - Take responsibility for your actions and take responsibility for your thoughts. In the classic exchange between philosopher Ted Lasso and his willing pupil Roy Kent...
Roy : I can't control my feelings.
Ted Lasso : Well, then, by all means you should let them control you.
(he was kidding).

Progress - Having a growth mindset. Design the journey so that it allows room to fail (first attempt in learning), room to try new things, and room to get better and grow. Celebrate mistakes. Or, as we are told, "fail fast / fail often."

Process - If we design good systems and habits, the outcomes will be there. Less intention on the "Prize" and more intention on what we are doing NOW to get there. Said another way, "Focus on the Root, Not the Fruit." If we have processes and progresses, we will get to the right outcome in the end.

And there it is. The comparison of the two COPPs. One COPP is the inner critic. One is the inner creative.

Name it, tame it.